I was so down yesterday. It was depression like I expect during PMS but my period just ended. I was hopeless, despairing, and angry. A lot of things I am not at all used to being. It was brutal. And I don't know what caused it.
Perhaps a number of anxieties coming together. Like my husband going away for the weekend (I chose not to go and work extra hours instead), my friend getting into a car accident and me having flashbacks to when I lost my closest friend in a car accident five years ago, stress over a trip to NYC I have to take next week (the city scares the hec out of me and I feel super overwhelmed and in over my head).
It may also have been the melatonin.
I had never heard of it until I met my husband but he has me use it sometimes to help me sleep. I read the other day that melatonin may actually help your eggs so that made me more willing to take it. I took it the night before yesterday and while it did help me fall asleep, I feel like when it leaves my system I wake up. So I woke up at 3:00 am and then me waking up caused both the animals to wake up and they thought is must be breakfast time so they kept me awake for the next two hours until it actually was breakfast time for them.
So then I took my temperature and, not surprisingly, it was way off. And that made me start stressing about my cycle again even though I knew the measurement couldn't be accurate. (And today my temperature is back on track).
I'm also stressing trying to understand what it means that I get really horny right after my period ends. I should be feeling that around ovulation time not the day I stop bleeding!
I want to be hopeful that this month is finally our month but the pressure of trying not to get my hopes up too high is stressful (And yes, believe me, I have heard many times about how stress is preventing me from getting pregnant).
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