As I use up the meat and eggs and milk that I have at home I am moving into the vegan change to my diet. I won't be buying more of the meat and dairy.
Also I should be in the ovulatory phase around now so I'm going to do those foods this week.
Sunday
Breakfast: brussle sprout sweet potato hash (minus the eggs)
Lunch: portabello mushroom burger with roasted red pepper and pesto Make these rolls
Snack: lara bar apricot almond
Dinner: strawberry spinach salad (afr book)
Monday
Breakfast: graham crackers with nut butter, apricots and chocolate chips
Lunch: quinoa with roasted red pepper sauce
Snack: avocado chocolate mousse with strawberries
Dinner: strawberry spinach salad
Tuesday
Breakfast: lara bar
Lunch: "b"lt with eggplant bacon and shaved brussle sprouts (afr)
Snack: almond apricot trail mix
Dinner: red pepper soup (afr)
Wednesday
Breakfast: graham cracker
Lunch: rajma and brown rice
Snack: lara bar
Dinner: grilled asparagus
Thursday
Breakfast: lara bar
Lunch: quinoa kale bowl with mushroom and asparagus
Snack: trail mix and mousse
Dinner: asparagus leek and green onion soup
Friday
Breakfast: graham cracker
Lunch: breakfast for lunch: sweet potato hash browns and coconut "bacon" flakes, vegan pancakes topped with strawberries
Snack: lara bar
Dinner: Savory Asparagus Crepes with Easy Vegan Hollandaise Sauce
Saturday LEFTOVERS
Breakfast:
Lunch:
Snack:
Dinner:
Weis is selling raspberry bushes right now! I really want one. Even though I've never been a fan of berries. It seems like a great easy plant to have for a food garden. And I can learn to like raspberries (my husband already likes them). I have to see if I can fit it into my food budget.
Grocery List:
staples
olive oil
produce
brussle sprouts
sweet potato (4)
onions
portabello mushrooms
red bell peppers (6)
strawberries (bogo, so get two)
dates (whole foods?)
dried apricots
small eggplant
avocado (2)
baby bella mushrooms
asparagus
kale
carrots
spinach
other
pine nuts
almonds (whole foods)
quinoa
tahini
vital wheat gluten
nutritional yeast (get at Wegman's) 5.49 (or whole foods?)
liquid smoke
coconut flakes
vanilla extract
almond milk and soy milk (whole foods?)
agave nectar
Weis has many of the vegan friendly food options. I've been amazed by how many vegan and gluten-free options there are there! But I think Whole Foods may be cheaper for certain things. I also was not able to find nutritional yeast there.
Thursday, April 30, 2015
High Protein Vegan Breakfasts
One thing I'm struggling with is making sure breakfasts have a high protein content. Here are some ideas for new recipes that would be vegan and high in protein:
http://www.kitchentreaty.com/vegan-vanilla-cashew-shake/
http://ohmyveggies.com/chocolate-peanut-butter-chia-breakfast-parfait/
http://themuffinmyth.com/2014/07/chocolate-black-bean-brownie-smoothie/
http://vegetarian.about.com/od/breakfastrecipe1/r/chocolate-Breakfast-Quinoa.htm
http://vegetarian.about.com/od/breakfastrecipe1/r/pbgranolawrap.htm
http://www.kitchentreaty.com/vegan-vanilla-cashew-shake/
http://ohmyveggies.com/chocolate-peanut-butter-chia-breakfast-parfait/
http://themuffinmyth.com/2014/07/chocolate-black-bean-brownie-smoothie/
http://vegetarian.about.com/od/breakfastrecipe1/r/chocolate-Breakfast-Quinoa.htm
http://vegetarian.about.com/od/breakfastrecipe1/r/pbgranolawrap.htm
Wednesday, April 29, 2015
Paying Attention to Poop
Gross out alert! I hate talking about poop. I hate thinking about poop. I don't want to know those details about anyone's life, even my own!
However.
It is an important way that we can know how our bodies are functioning. I have learned from WomanCode that higher levels of fiber are necessary for women with PCOS because when we don't eliminate often enough waste estrogen gets reabsorbed into our bodies (and I've seen that information confirmed with several PCOS experts). That makes our imbalance of hormones worse.
Since I don't like to think about these things, I haven't been paying any attention to how often I poop. I read somewhere once that everyone has their own schedule and there is no normal so not to worry if you go twice a day or once every other day.
But WomanCode explains that you should be using the bathroom within twenty minutes of getting out of bed in the morning with only the help of water (not coffee). You should go again in the afternoon.
Once I started paying attention for it I discovered that I was definitely constipated. I hadn't noticed because I didn't have any pain associated with it (I did when I was a pre-teen and had to go on suppositories for a while. Yuck!)
Even now that I've increased the amount of fiber I'm eating and taking Metamucil pills most days I still struggle to use the bathroom twice a day.
This is another way I'll be able to tell if the diet is working. It's one of the few daily signs that can be observed.
However.
It is an important way that we can know how our bodies are functioning. I have learned from WomanCode that higher levels of fiber are necessary for women with PCOS because when we don't eliminate often enough waste estrogen gets reabsorbed into our bodies (and I've seen that information confirmed with several PCOS experts). That makes our imbalance of hormones worse.
Since I don't like to think about these things, I haven't been paying any attention to how often I poop. I read somewhere once that everyone has their own schedule and there is no normal so not to worry if you go twice a day or once every other day.
But WomanCode explains that you should be using the bathroom within twenty minutes of getting out of bed in the morning with only the help of water (not coffee). You should go again in the afternoon.
Once I started paying attention for it I discovered that I was definitely constipated. I hadn't noticed because I didn't have any pain associated with it (I did when I was a pre-teen and had to go on suppositories for a while. Yuck!)
Even now that I've increased the amount of fiber I'm eating and taking Metamucil pills most days I still struggle to use the bathroom twice a day.
This is another way I'll be able to tell if the diet is working. It's one of the few daily signs that can be observed.
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
Just The Essentials
From reading message boards and watching videos of other people with PCOS I see lots of people talking about diet and its effect on PCOS symptoms.
There's different books and different websites and different programs that we can get on but they all have two things in common. These are the essential basic foundation of using diet to heal PCOS.
1) No simple carbs
2) No simple sugars
(and those two things are related).
So regardless of the other details, I think if you have PCOS: going for complex carbs and natural sugars will go a long way towards balancing your hormones and getting you back onto a proper cycle.
That's what all the PCOS diets have in common, what they all recommend.
It may not matter which of these diets you follow as long as you're doing low carb (basically the food that is good for people with diabetes).
Another element that's very common in these diets is lessening dairy intake.
Increasing fiber matters because that can clear excess estrogen out of our systems.
These are the basics that can go a long way towards healing us and erasing our symptoms!
There's different books and different websites and different programs that we can get on but they all have two things in common. These are the essential basic foundation of using diet to heal PCOS.
1) No simple carbs
2) No simple sugars
(and those two things are related).
So regardless of the other details, I think if you have PCOS: going for complex carbs and natural sugars will go a long way towards balancing your hormones and getting you back onto a proper cycle.
That's what all the PCOS diets have in common, what they all recommend.
It may not matter which of these diets you follow as long as you're doing low carb (basically the food that is good for people with diabetes).
Another element that's very common in these diets is lessening dairy intake.
Increasing fiber matters because that can clear excess estrogen out of our systems.
These are the basics that can go a long way towards healing us and erasing our symptoms!
Meals 4/27/15 and 4/28/15
Breakfasts:
Oatmeal Bars
I don't like these very much. They're edible but I don't love them. I put some honey on them yesterday and that was a little better. But this morning I had an avocado with balsamic vinegar for breakfast.
Snacks:
Trail Mix
Yum yum yum. This is tempting to eat every time I'm hungry. I mixed cashews, walnuts, craisins, raisins, and mini semi-sweet chocolate chips with some salt and a drizzle of olive oil. Good stuff but I need to make sure I'm snacking on enough fruits and veggies and not just nuts and bits of dried fruit.
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I don't have a veggie spiralizer yet so I sliced the carrots with a mandolin slicer. The sauce is very flavorful and intense so it goes perfectly with some brown rice.
Oatmeal Bars
I don't like these very much. They're edible but I don't love them. I put some honey on them yesterday and that was a little better. But this morning I had an avocado with balsamic vinegar for breakfast.
My husband likes them, though, and he's impressed by how filling they are.
I also attempted the chia seed banana bread muffins. I didn't have arrowroot powder, though, so I just used corn starch. I probably should have looked up what conversion rate to use. They ended up pretty bad. Didn't really cook through. The glaze was good, though. I may try this again when I have all the right ingredients.
Snacks:
Trail Mix
Yum yum yum. This is tempting to eat every time I'm hungry. I mixed cashews, walnuts, craisins, raisins, and mini semi-sweet chocolate chips with some salt and a drizzle of olive oil. Good stuff but I need to make sure I'm snacking on enough fruits and veggies and not just nuts and bits of dried fruit.
Baby Food
This was a good suggestion. I got a great deal on these on-the-go applesauces (which are not billed as necessarily baby food but have the same concept as the baby pouches). The only issue for me is that I am sensitive to food texture and I don't like things that are too smooth. So rather than eat this straight from the pouch, I spread it on a graham cracker and sprinkled with raisins. Delicious!
Baked Fried Pickles
I love fried pickle chips so when I heard that you can make breading out of chia seeds I wanted to try it with pickles.
It worked fairly well. Next time I'll use more oil for the pan and not try to put wax paper down (oven temp is so hot that the paper burned). The one side of the breading stuck to the paper pretty badly.
I tried some with just gelled chia seeds (mixing chia seeds with water and letting sit a few minutes) and others with a mix of that and flaxseed meal. The mix worked much better.
With a dollop of ranch dressing these were quite yummy.
Main Meals:
Carrot NoodlesI don't have a veggie spiralizer yet so I sliced the carrots with a mandolin slicer. The sauce is very flavorful and intense so it goes perfectly with some brown rice.
Egg Salad on whole wheat toast for lunch. I'm really going to miss egg salad a lot when I go vegan.
Caprese Salad with a homemade pesto using cashews in place of pine nuts. Regular salad on the side.
Monday, April 27, 2015
Challenges to Going Vegan...
The WomanCode diet recommends cutting way back on dairy particularly for fertility. I'm tempted to try vegan. I was watching Vegucated the other day and it really made me face some concerns I've been trying to hide from.
Would it be too challenging to do a PCOS healing diet (avoiding a lot of carbs and sugars) AND a vegan diet? I know some people are doing it.
And now that I'm making almost all my own meals all the time it seems like it wouldn't be too hard to switch in vegan recipes.
Low carb recipes are, of course, packed with things like cheese and pork rinds. High meat trades off for fewer carbs in things like the Atkins Diet. But I think it can still be done. To be healthy, low-carb (not zero carb, but focused on complex carbs), low sugar, and vegan.
But then I think about my very favorite meat dishes. Are there substitutes that would satisfy me? I feel like I'm unlikely to be able to stick with it long term if I think I can never again eat certain foods that I love.
I think it's worth trying out some substitutes and seeing what it's like.
My favorite meat and dairy dishes:
What are the solutions?
1) Here is a recipe for meatless meatloaf
2) Tuna fish salad can be made with mashed chick peas. Here are two recipes I'd like to try:
http://yeahthatveganshit.blogspot.com/2007/08/mock-tuna-salad.html
http://allrecipes.com/recipe/vegan-tuna-salad/
3) I know I like Boca burgers and once they have all the fixings on them I think they would be as satisfying as Big Macs (also, add some fennel seeds because that gives a real sausage flavor)
4) This is one of my go-to dishes that I haven't made since I stopped eating pasta. It could easily be made with Boca crumbles, though.
5) "BaconSalt" flavorings are vegan. Also, you can make coconut bacon flakes. For strips of bacon, apparently eggplant works (I've never eaten eggplant before but with this preparation I think I'd give it a try)
6) Apparently a thin slice of roasted red pepper can substitute for smoked salmon/lox. Might be able to season tofu for baked salmon effect. (As for the Omega-3s that people trying to get pregnant and are pregnant need, walnuts have it). WomanCode cautions against soy for women with estrogen issues like PCOS, though. It has a chemical makeup that can trick the body into thinking it is even more estrogen. Tofu would have to be a very rare part of my diet.
7) Here's a fish taco recipe using tofu
8) http://www.onegreenplanet.org/vegan-recipe/10-vegan-cheeses-that-will-knock-your-socks-off
9) See number 5 for bacon alternatives and number 14 for mayo
10) See number 8 for cheeses
11) I already know I like coconut ice cream
12) Mushrooms and brown rice combine to make some fake meatballs Others use tempeh Would still need to work on making them lower carb because of the bread crumbs. This recipe was created specifically for meatball subs. (Apparently chia seeds are great to use instead of bread crumbs).
13) http://ohsheglows.com/2014/02/05/my-favourite-vegan-chili-with-homemade-sour-cream/
14) Apparently "Just Mayo" is quite a great alternative. I'm not crazy about it being made with canola oil, but then again it's not like regular mayo is at all good for me! There are also ways to make it yourself at home. Here is a version with cashews
15) I can't even believe there is a vegan alternative to this one. We live in an amazing time! The Internet has vegan versions of everything. Here's one that sounds good! I don't know what agar powder is, honestly. Here's another one.
Other things I would need:
Milk: I don't want too much soy and not sure about taste but I think nut milks would work for me (like Almond Milk)
Cream/whipped cream: cashew nuts can be whipped into cream
Cream cheese: cashews again! A simpler one and a more complex one
Shredded cheese: this recipe uses sweet potato for a casserole cheese topper and cashews once again
Yogurt: Coconut Cream Yogurt
Cottage cheese: Tofu based
Veggie stock: super easy to make from veggie bits that are going into my compost right now
Parmesan cheese: http://www.beardandbonnet.com/how-to-make-vegan-parmesan-cheese/
Egg substitutions for baking: http://chefinyou.com/egg-substitutes-cooking/
Breading: one friend recommended soaked chia seeds for breading things
Preparation is the big key here, I think. My husband was vegetarian for a while in college and then when he tried to take it to the next step and become vegan he was back to meat eating within days! He hasn't tried to go vegetarian since. I suspect/hope that it is because he didn't have the ingredients and knowledge on hand to create the foods he wanted.
Would also require carefully keeping an eye on getting all nutrients (which I've never been good at). Even when I was a vegetarian I was a very unhealthy eater, mostly eating simple carbs. But since I'm already working on carefully calibrating my meal plans, I don't think it will be hard to add vegan.
Reading up a bit more on soy and it looks like perhaps including a little bit of it at times could be fine for me. http://conqueryourpcosnaturally.com/_blog/Blog/post/soy-story-controversial-effects-soy-pcos/
I'm going to work on updating my master meal plan. We'll see if I can pull this off!
Would it be too challenging to do a PCOS healing diet (avoiding a lot of carbs and sugars) AND a vegan diet? I know some people are doing it.
And now that I'm making almost all my own meals all the time it seems like it wouldn't be too hard to switch in vegan recipes.
Low carb recipes are, of course, packed with things like cheese and pork rinds. High meat trades off for fewer carbs in things like the Atkins Diet. But I think it can still be done. To be healthy, low-carb (not zero carb, but focused on complex carbs), low sugar, and vegan.
But then I think about my very favorite meat dishes. Are there substitutes that would satisfy me? I feel like I'm unlikely to be able to stick with it long term if I think I can never again eat certain foods that I love.
I think it's worth trying out some substitutes and seeing what it's like.
My favorite meat and dairy dishes:
- mini meatloafs
- my husband's tuna fish salad sandwiches
- mac donald's big mac
- skillet lasagna
- bacon in my new soup and squash recipes
- everything salmon!
- fish tacos
- cheese
- blt
- pizza
- frozen yogurt/ice cream
- meatball sub
- sour cream
- mayonnaise
- deviled eggs
What are the solutions?
1) Here is a recipe for meatless meatloaf
2) Tuna fish salad can be made with mashed chick peas. Here are two recipes I'd like to try:
http://yeahthatveganshit.blogspot.com/2007/08/mock-tuna-salad.html
http://allrecipes.com/recipe/vegan-tuna-salad/
3) I know I like Boca burgers and once they have all the fixings on them I think they would be as satisfying as Big Macs (also, add some fennel seeds because that gives a real sausage flavor)
4) This is one of my go-to dishes that I haven't made since I stopped eating pasta. It could easily be made with Boca crumbles, though.
5) "BaconSalt" flavorings are vegan. Also, you can make coconut bacon flakes. For strips of bacon, apparently eggplant works (I've never eaten eggplant before but with this preparation I think I'd give it a try)
6) Apparently a thin slice of roasted red pepper can substitute for smoked salmon/lox. Might be able to season tofu for baked salmon effect. (As for the Omega-3s that people trying to get pregnant and are pregnant need, walnuts have it). WomanCode cautions against soy for women with estrogen issues like PCOS, though. It has a chemical makeup that can trick the body into thinking it is even more estrogen. Tofu would have to be a very rare part of my diet.
7) Here's a fish taco recipe using tofu
8) http://www.onegreenplanet.org/vegan-recipe/10-vegan-cheeses-that-will-knock-your-socks-off
9) See number 5 for bacon alternatives and number 14 for mayo
10) See number 8 for cheeses
11) I already know I like coconut ice cream
12) Mushrooms and brown rice combine to make some fake meatballs Others use tempeh Would still need to work on making them lower carb because of the bread crumbs. This recipe was created specifically for meatball subs. (Apparently chia seeds are great to use instead of bread crumbs).
13) http://ohsheglows.com/2014/02/05/my-favourite-vegan-chili-with-homemade-sour-cream/
14) Apparently "Just Mayo" is quite a great alternative. I'm not crazy about it being made with canola oil, but then again it's not like regular mayo is at all good for me! There are also ways to make it yourself at home. Here is a version with cashews
15) I can't even believe there is a vegan alternative to this one. We live in an amazing time! The Internet has vegan versions of everything. Here's one that sounds good! I don't know what agar powder is, honestly. Here's another one.
Other things I would need:
Milk: I don't want too much soy and not sure about taste but I think nut milks would work for me (like Almond Milk)
Cream/whipped cream: cashew nuts can be whipped into cream
Cream cheese: cashews again! A simpler one and a more complex one
Shredded cheese: this recipe uses sweet potato for a casserole cheese topper and cashews once again
Yogurt: Coconut Cream Yogurt
Cottage cheese: Tofu based
Veggie stock: super easy to make from veggie bits that are going into my compost right now
Parmesan cheese: http://www.beardandbonnet.com/how-to-make-vegan-parmesan-cheese/
Egg substitutions for baking: http://chefinyou.com/egg-substitutes-cooking/
Breading: one friend recommended soaked chia seeds for breading things
Preparation is the big key here, I think. My husband was vegetarian for a while in college and then when he tried to take it to the next step and become vegan he was back to meat eating within days! He hasn't tried to go vegetarian since. I suspect/hope that it is because he didn't have the ingredients and knowledge on hand to create the foods he wanted.
Would also require carefully keeping an eye on getting all nutrients (which I've never been good at). Even when I was a vegetarian I was a very unhealthy eater, mostly eating simple carbs. But since I'm already working on carefully calibrating my meal plans, I don't think it will be hard to add vegan.
infants of vegan mothers risk permanent nerve damage and impaired growth from early vitamin B-12 deficiency. Vegan mothers who breast-feed fail to supply their babies with sufficient amounts of this essential vitamin.
...Omega-3 fatty acids, while prevalent in plant foods such as flaxseed, walnuts and pumpkin seeds, have to be converted to their active forms, EPA and DHA. Your body converts them with only 12 percent efficiency, requiring you to eat these foods in very high quantities, which may be impractical. By contrast, fish oil contains DHA already formed, so no conversion is required. This makes it challenging for vegans to obtain adequate levels of omega-3 fatty acids
...The form of iron in plants is less easily absorbed than that from animal foods. Components of plants, such as fiber, phytates and tannins, further decrease iron availability from plants. As a result, vegans need to take extra effort to plan their diets to include sufficient quantities of high-iron plant foods, such as soybeans, blackstrap molasses, lentils and spinach. Vegans are also at risk of zinc deficiency. Found in low quantities in plant foods, zinc is subject to the same absorption impediments as iron.
-http://healthyeating.sfgate.com/negative-effects-veganism-3304.htmlWomanCode has a lot of information on what nutrients we need to be getting so I can just look up vegan sources for them...
B-12: some nutritional yeast is fortified with it, there's more than the daily requirement in the vitamins that I take as pre-natals.
A: carrot, squash, sweet potato, pumpkin
C: bell peppers, oranges, strawberries
Sulforaphane: broccoli, cauliflower, kale, radishes
glutathione: garlic, onions, broccoli-family, many raw fruits and veggies (cumin helps support)
iron: quinoa, spinach, blackstrap molasses
amino acids methionine and lysine: soy, lentils, whole grains, nut butters
calcium: kale, broccoli, oranges
vitamin D: mushrooms (particularly sun dried)
Omega 3 fatty-acids: flax seeds, chia seeds, hemp seeds, kidney beans, dark leafy greens (though not a lot), cabbages (cauliflower), winter squashes, seaweed. Olive oil and walnuts have it but are apparently skewed towards the wrong ratio of omega fats
Zinc:"And Zinc is critical for optimal fertility."
Reading up a bit more on soy and it looks like perhaps including a little bit of it at times could be fine for me. http://conqueryourpcosnaturally.com/_blog/Blog/post/soy-story-controversial-effects-soy-pcos/
I'm going to work on updating my master meal plan. We'll see if I can pull this off!
Friday, April 24, 2015
Meals 4/22
So today is when I made the carrot cake breakfast cookies. I didn't like them that much. No sweetness to them. The pumpkin cookies had dark chocolate chips going for them! The raisins and bananas and carrots should have helped but it didn't seem to do enough. Maybe a little more carrots. My carrots were pretty close to bad too.
For lunch I was supposed to do a chicken dish but I didn't have any plum jam. I tried to find plums or plum jam at the grocery store but didn't have any luck. I also hadn't defrosted my second package of chicken.
So instead I put it in the crock pot for this dish and had toast and cottage cheese for lunch.
Then around 3:30 I was getting pretty peckish and casting around my kitchen trying to figure out what I could eat. I realized that I could just put together a smoothie. I put yogurt, almond butter, honey, frozen grapes, strawberries, bananas, and some oats and some water in my blender. I'm not a huge fan of smoothies (I don't like the tang of yogurt and I don't like a lot of fruit at once, eat it only in small bites), but they are really useful as a snack option to have around!
The dinner was okay but not great. I keep forgetting that I really don't like crock pot dishes. They never turn out for me. But my husband thought it was good.
For lunch I was supposed to do a chicken dish but I didn't have any plum jam. I tried to find plums or plum jam at the grocery store but didn't have any luck. I also hadn't defrosted my second package of chicken.
So instead I put it in the crock pot for this dish and had toast and cottage cheese for lunch.
Then around 3:30 I was getting pretty peckish and casting around my kitchen trying to figure out what I could eat. I realized that I could just put together a smoothie. I put yogurt, almond butter, honey, frozen grapes, strawberries, bananas, and some oats and some water in my blender. I'm not a huge fan of smoothies (I don't like the tang of yogurt and I don't like a lot of fruit at once, eat it only in small bites), but they are really useful as a snack option to have around!
The dinner was okay but not great. I keep forgetting that I really don't like crock pot dishes. They never turn out for me. But my husband thought it was good.
Meal Plan 4/26 to 5/2
Day One:
Breakfast: Basic Oatmeal Squares (with raisins and chocolate chips added)
Lunch: egg salad with relish
Snack: homemade trail mix featuring cashews
Dinner: caprese salad and cashew pesto
Day Two:
Breakfast: chia seed banana bread with nut butter
Lunch: stir fry with brown rice, carrots, broccoli, snap peas
Snack: baked fried pickles with chia seed breading
Dinner: carrot pasta with creamy zesty garlic sauce
Day Three:
Breakfast:
Lunch: egg salad
Snack: trail mix
Dinner: lima bean and sugar snap pea mint salad
Day Four:
Breakfast:
Lunch: stir fry with carrots, broccoli, and snap peas
Snack: deviled eggs
Dinner: avocado with balsamic vinegar
Day Five:
Breakfast:
Lunch: avocado almond butter sandwich
Snack:
Dinner: salad with artichoke hearts
Day Six:
Breakfast:
Lunch: dijon pork chops and sauteed broccoli
Snack:
Dinner: broccoli cheese soup
Day Seven:
Breakfast:
Lunch:
Snack:
Dinner:
Grocery List:
lettuce
avocado
chia seeds
carrots
broccoli
brown rice
tomato
raw cashews
frozen baby lima beans
chocolate chips
(shallot)
(mint)
tahini
pickles
dog food
Breakfast: Basic Oatmeal Squares (with raisins and chocolate chips added)
Lunch: egg salad with relish
Snack: homemade trail mix featuring cashews
Dinner: caprese salad and cashew pesto
Day Two:
Breakfast: chia seed banana bread with nut butter
Lunch: stir fry with brown rice, carrots, broccoli, snap peas
Snack: baked fried pickles with chia seed breading
Dinner: carrot pasta with creamy zesty garlic sauce
Day Three:
Breakfast:
Lunch: egg salad
Snack: trail mix
Dinner: lima bean and sugar snap pea mint salad
Day Four:
Breakfast:
Lunch: stir fry with carrots, broccoli, and snap peas
Snack: deviled eggs
Dinner: avocado with balsamic vinegar
Day Five:
Breakfast:
Lunch: avocado almond butter sandwich
Snack:
Dinner: salad with artichoke hearts
Day Six:
Breakfast:
Lunch: dijon pork chops and sauteed broccoli
Snack:
Dinner: broccoli cheese soup
Day Seven:
Breakfast:
Lunch:
Snack:
Dinner:
Grocery List:
lettuce
avocado
chia seeds
carrots
broccoli
brown rice
tomato
raw cashews
frozen baby lima beans
chocolate chips
(shallot)
(mint)
tahini
pickles
dog food
Thursday, April 23, 2015
Weight and PCOS
I have two conditions that I found out about when I started looking into why my husband and I weren't getting pregnant. One is PCOS and the other is under active thyroid.
Both are associated with weight gain and great difficulty losing weight.
A handful of years ago I started gaining weight very rapidly for no apparent reason. I hadn't changed the way I ate at all. I had been a size zero in graduate school (though my "normal" was more like a size 4-6). I attributed it to the metabolism slow down of the late twenties.
I tried to diet. I went back to the diets that had gotten me to that size zero that I so enjoyed being. I continued to gain weight. I tried the diet that my husband had used to lose over 100 pounds. I continued to gain weight. It was staggering. We couldn't figure out where my body was getting the material to put on weight. So I just gave up for a while.
Luckily for me I found out what was causing this before my weight got too out of control. I am 5'4" and the heaviest I ever got to was 173. I know a lot of people in my situation are over 200.
I wouldn't have known except I got blood work done at a fertility clinic. I started seeing an endocrinologist and got onto medication for the thyroid. I have not gotten on any medication for the PCOS as of yet. I hate taking medication (I'm kind of a hippy natural girl) so I'm seeing what I can do with food and natural living first.
However, the thyroid medication has made weight loss possible again. It isn't easy. I'm still fighting for every pound and eating to a much stricter code than my healthy/normal friends. But I've lost 20 pounds and am at 153, which is near where I was when I first started noticing fertility problems.
If I can get down into the 130 range then it is likely that my cycles will become more normal and I might start ovulating again.
Some people think thyroid issues is just an excuse but I'm here to tell you that thyroid issues can make losing weight impossible no matter how disciplined you are. If you struggle with losing weight or have PCOS, get your thyroid levels checked. Once you've got that under control then the battle really begins!
Both are associated with weight gain and great difficulty losing weight.
A handful of years ago I started gaining weight very rapidly for no apparent reason. I hadn't changed the way I ate at all. I had been a size zero in graduate school (though my "normal" was more like a size 4-6). I attributed it to the metabolism slow down of the late twenties.
I tried to diet. I went back to the diets that had gotten me to that size zero that I so enjoyed being. I continued to gain weight. I tried the diet that my husband had used to lose over 100 pounds. I continued to gain weight. It was staggering. We couldn't figure out where my body was getting the material to put on weight. So I just gave up for a while.
Luckily for me I found out what was causing this before my weight got too out of control. I am 5'4" and the heaviest I ever got to was 173. I know a lot of people in my situation are over 200.
I wouldn't have known except I got blood work done at a fertility clinic. I started seeing an endocrinologist and got onto medication for the thyroid. I have not gotten on any medication for the PCOS as of yet. I hate taking medication (I'm kind of a hippy natural girl) so I'm seeing what I can do with food and natural living first.
However, the thyroid medication has made weight loss possible again. It isn't easy. I'm still fighting for every pound and eating to a much stricter code than my healthy/normal friends. But I've lost 20 pounds and am at 153, which is near where I was when I first started noticing fertility problems.
If I can get down into the 130 range then it is likely that my cycles will become more normal and I might start ovulating again.
Some people think thyroid issues is just an excuse but I'm here to tell you that thyroid issues can make losing weight impossible no matter how disciplined you are. If you struggle with losing weight or have PCOS, get your thyroid levels checked. Once you've got that under control then the battle really begins!
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
How Will I Know?
So now I'm in the follicular phase and planning my meals around that but the next phase is ovulatory and I have no idea how I'll know when it's time to switch to that.
There are a few methods for telling when you are ovulating...
Taking my temperature has not worked for me in the past (probably because I have not been ovulating at all). It makes me stressed out to see a number I don't want on the thermometer. I also have trouble doing this one because as soon as I wake up I need to take the dog out. There's no time to lie in bed waiting for the thermometer.
I have some ovulation test strips that a friend sent me. She got a box of, like, 500 and didn't want that many so she sent me half. I may try those again this cycle after about ten days of follicular. Those also stress me out because I've never seen a positive on one.
There are fancy fertility monitors that I'm really tempted to get. It's not that expensive when compared to infertility treatments. I just don't know if I would get any kind of response on them either, though.
I should keep an eye on discharge too and see if I can recognize cervical mucus.
I should also make some meal plans for ovulatory and try to have the ingredients on hand so I can leap at it. My husband also says the ovulatory foods will be good for him and his body too around that time. How about salmon crusted in walnuts, he suggests, for maximum Omega-3.
There are a few methods for telling when you are ovulating...
- taking your temperature (as explained beautifully in Taking Charge of Your Fertility)
- using ovulation test strips (I'm super tempted to get a fancy ovulation tester like this one!)
- checking your cervical mucus
Taking my temperature has not worked for me in the past (probably because I have not been ovulating at all). It makes me stressed out to see a number I don't want on the thermometer. I also have trouble doing this one because as soon as I wake up I need to take the dog out. There's no time to lie in bed waiting for the thermometer.
I have some ovulation test strips that a friend sent me. She got a box of, like, 500 and didn't want that many so she sent me half. I may try those again this cycle after about ten days of follicular. Those also stress me out because I've never seen a positive on one.
There are fancy fertility monitors that I'm really tempted to get. It's not that expensive when compared to infertility treatments. I just don't know if I would get any kind of response on them either, though.
I should keep an eye on discharge too and see if I can recognize cervical mucus.
I should also make some meal plans for ovulatory and try to have the ingredients on hand so I can leap at it. My husband also says the ovulatory foods will be good for him and his body too around that time. How about salmon crusted in walnuts, he suggests, for maximum Omega-3.
Meals 4/21
I was going to make carrot cake breakfast cookies but I forgot I needed bananas and I sent my husband to work with the last of them. So I made the cookies the next day. They are very moist with the mashed banana, applesauce, and fruits. I left out the pineapple. I'm not crazy about them but they are okay.
For lunch I did a pan fried chicken and crispy garlic broccoli. It was delicious! My only caution is watch out for the steam. That oven is super, super hot. I got a painful face full of steam.
I went to work with some rice crackers for a snack. I came home so exhausted that I couldn't stand the thought of cooking my dinner. I convinced my husband to make me "cream" of carrot soup (really milk of carrot soup). He had never made soup that wasn't in a can and he was really nervous, but I talked him through it from the living room and he delivered a delicious soup that was way better than what I would have finished with (I tend to cut corners a lot in recipes).
I didn't get a picture of that one but it was great.
For lunch I did a pan fried chicken and crispy garlic broccoli. It was delicious! My only caution is watch out for the steam. That oven is super, super hot. I got a painful face full of steam.
I went to work with some rice crackers for a snack. I came home so exhausted that I couldn't stand the thought of cooking my dinner. I convinced my husband to make me "cream" of carrot soup (really milk of carrot soup). He had never made soup that wasn't in a can and he was really nervous, but I talked him through it from the living room and he delivered a delicious soup that was way better than what I would have finished with (I tend to cut corners a lot in recipes).
I didn't get a picture of that one but it was great.
Tuesday, April 21, 2015
Garden Progress
As I mentioned before, I wasn't able to buy enough soil to really fill the size of the fabric garden bed I had. So I squished the dirt into a corner and hoped for the best.
It's looking not too bad. And this is after a surprise HAIL storm last night!
This is carrots and broccoli. The broccoli plants might be too close together. And there might not be really enough depth for carrots. But we'll see! It's good practice for me, anyway.
It's looking not too bad. And this is after a surprise HAIL storm last night!
This is carrots and broccoli. The broccoli plants might be too close together. And there might not be really enough depth for carrots. But we'll see! It's good practice for me, anyway.
Meals 4/20 & Super Simple Rajma Recipe
I had the cranberry breakfast cookies again.
For lunch I did rajma, which is an Indian dish of red kidney beans. I make a super simple version of it...
Rajma
For dinner I was supposed to do duck fat fries but I wasn't able to find duck at the grocery store either in the meat section or in the frozen section (pig's feet? yes. cow tongue? yes. gizzards? yes. duck? no.)
I ended up eating some tomato soup I had bought at work a few days ago and never finished. Then I made the cupcakes you saw in the last post. Happily that kept me from eating the mini cadbury eggs that my husband had!
When I told my friends that the avocado black bean brownies hadn't worked for me, one suggested this recipe, so I'll be giving it a try at some point: http://www.skinnytaste.com/2014/02/amazing-flour-less-brownies.html?m=1
For lunch I did rajma, which is an Indian dish of red kidney beans. I make a super simple version of it...
Rajma
- sautee onion, garlic
- once those are really sizzling, add a few diced canned tomato bits
- add a rinsed can of kidney beans and about a cup of water
- add sprinklings of turmeric, cumin, chili pepper to taste
- cook until a lot of the water cooks off
- serve with rice
For dinner I was supposed to do duck fat fries but I wasn't able to find duck at the grocery store either in the meat section or in the frozen section (pig's feet? yes. cow tongue? yes. gizzards? yes. duck? no.)
I ended up eating some tomato soup I had bought at work a few days ago and never finished. Then I made the cupcakes you saw in the last post. Happily that kept me from eating the mini cadbury eggs that my husband had!
When I told my friends that the avocado black bean brownies hadn't worked for me, one suggested this recipe, so I'll be giving it a try at some point: http://www.skinnytaste.com/2014/02/amazing-flour-less-brownies.html?m=1
Monday, April 20, 2015
Flour-less and Natural Sugar Cupcakes
After so many bad desserts this phase, I was really craving something rich and sweet. Watching Cupcake Wars is not helping!
So I did some research to find a cupcake I could eat.
Ideally I don't eat any sugar in the evenings, not even natural sugar like honey. But I decided eating some honey was going to save me from eating something worse.
I chose this super quick and easy microwave flour-less cupcake: http://ditchthewheat.com/1-minute-flourless-chocolate-cupcake-lc-gf/
Then I made this cream cheese frosting with honey: http://www.babble.com/kid/carrot-cupcakes-with-honey-sweetened-cream-cheese-frosting/
The denseness of the cake didn't pair that well with the light cream cheese frosting but it was still way more delicious than any of the other desserts I tried this phase!
So I did some research to find a cupcake I could eat.
Ideally I don't eat any sugar in the evenings, not even natural sugar like honey. But I decided eating some honey was going to save me from eating something worse.
I chose this super quick and easy microwave flour-less cupcake: http://ditchthewheat.com/1-minute-flourless-chocolate-cupcake-lc-gf/
Then I made this cream cheese frosting with honey: http://www.babble.com/kid/carrot-cupcakes-with-honey-sweetened-cream-cheese-frosting/
The denseness of the cake didn't pair that well with the light cream cheese frosting but it was still way more delicious than any of the other desserts I tried this phase!
Meals 4/19
On Sunday I had work from 11:00 am to 5:00 pm so I was rushing around in the morning getting my lunch cooked and ready!
I made it though.
For breakfast I made the cranberry walnut breakfast cookies but I substituted chestnuts for the walnuts since chestnuts are the nut of the menstrual phase. I happened to have a bag of pre-roasted chestnuts that my mother-in-law gave me a while ago and I had never opened!
The cookies were pretty yummy. I like the pumpkin ones a little better but these are good. They also don't hold together quite as well as the pumpkin ones.
We did the dijon mustard pork chops with wild rice. I got just a box of wild rice mixed with long grain. I realized later that I could have gotten brown rice and wild rice and mixed them together for my own custom blend. Next time. I cooked the boxed rice in home made chicken broth and added chopped craisins and chestnuts. I ate half of this before I left and then the other half at work a while later.
In the evening I finished up grocery shopping and I decided that I couldn't wait any longer for a food processor. So we tried to go to Goodwill to look for one, but it being Sunday night they were closed. Then I found a Big Lots and got a nice big food processor for $30. (Here's the one I got. It's a tiny bit cheaper on Amazon).
With that I was able to make the black bean avocado brownies that I was so excited about. But they were a huge disappointment. They weren't at all sweet.
Granted, I was low on the brown sugar and didn't put in quite enough but it's hard to believe that little bit could have such a big effect. It tasted like dense refried beans more than brownies. They look so good too! :(
We also had some snack foods for dinner like the buffalo cauliflower and some guacamole with rice crackers.
I made it though.
For breakfast I made the cranberry walnut breakfast cookies but I substituted chestnuts for the walnuts since chestnuts are the nut of the menstrual phase. I happened to have a bag of pre-roasted chestnuts that my mother-in-law gave me a while ago and I had never opened!
The cookies were pretty yummy. I like the pumpkin ones a little better but these are good. They also don't hold together quite as well as the pumpkin ones.
We did the dijon mustard pork chops with wild rice. I got just a box of wild rice mixed with long grain. I realized later that I could have gotten brown rice and wild rice and mixed them together for my own custom blend. Next time. I cooked the boxed rice in home made chicken broth and added chopped craisins and chestnuts. I ate half of this before I left and then the other half at work a while later.
In the evening I finished up grocery shopping and I decided that I couldn't wait any longer for a food processor. So we tried to go to Goodwill to look for one, but it being Sunday night they were closed. Then I found a Big Lots and got a nice big food processor for $30. (Here's the one I got. It's a tiny bit cheaper on Amazon).
With that I was able to make the black bean avocado brownies that I was so excited about. But they were a huge disappointment. They weren't at all sweet.
Granted, I was low on the brown sugar and didn't put in quite enough but it's hard to believe that little bit could have such a big effect. It tasted like dense refried beans more than brownies. They look so good too! :(
We also had some snack foods for dinner like the buffalo cauliflower and some guacamole with rice crackers.
Saturday, April 18, 2015
Meals 4/18
This new black bean soup recipe I tried was fantastic. As per usual, bacon makes things amazing. I modified with what I had. I didn't use any ketchup or tomato or anything, just the bacon, garlic, onion, and broth then of course the black beans.
I didn't care for the sweet potato flat bread, though I may try it again using it as a base for other things as the recipe suggests.
I also didn't really care for the sugar free dessert pudding. It's just making sugar-free instant pudding with heavy whipping cream instead of milk. But I like instant pudding the regular way. The whipping cream didn't improve it and just added calories.
There's a little in the freezer now, though, because I want to see what it's like frozen like ice cream.
I am SO looking forward to the avocado brownies. I just have to wait to buy avocados on sale tomorrow!
I didn't care for the sweet potato flat bread, though I may try it again using it as a base for other things as the recipe suggests.
I also didn't really care for the sugar free dessert pudding. It's just making sugar-free instant pudding with heavy whipping cream instead of milk. But I like instant pudding the regular way. The whipping cream didn't improve it and just added calories.
There's a little in the freezer now, though, because I want to see what it's like frozen like ice cream.
I am SO looking forward to the avocado brownies. I just have to wait to buy avocados on sale tomorrow!
We Have Blood!
Day 48 and I am officially in the menstruation phase. I may be the only woman trying to conceive who is thrilled about that, but I am.
That is shorter than the 60 to 90 day cycles I have been having (and many of those periods were brought on by outside forces like medication to force me to ovulate so they could check me for PCOS).
It is said that 28-35 is a normal length of cycle. But I'm pretty sure my friend who has two children has a cycle that's usually in the 38-40 day range.
Plus I only started the diet part way through this cycle. I'm pleased that I think I pegged where I was in my cycle pretty accurately based on emotional cues.
I'm not going to go back to taking my temperature quite yet. It stresses me out and makes me frustrated when it isn't what I want to see (it's very low all the time, never seems to rise).
I will see as I continue my diet how long my next cycle is. After a couple of cycles in the realm of normal then I will start taking my temperature and using the ovulation test strips that a friend sent me to see if having a period means that I'm ovulating.
That is shorter than the 60 to 90 day cycles I have been having (and many of those periods were brought on by outside forces like medication to force me to ovulate so they could check me for PCOS).
It is said that 28-35 is a normal length of cycle. But I'm pretty sure my friend who has two children has a cycle that's usually in the 38-40 day range.
Plus I only started the diet part way through this cycle. I'm pleased that I think I pegged where I was in my cycle pretty accurately based on emotional cues.
I'm not going to go back to taking my temperature quite yet. It stresses me out and makes me frustrated when it isn't what I want to see (it's very low all the time, never seems to rise).
I will see as I continue my diet how long my next cycle is. After a couple of cycles in the realm of normal then I will start taking my temperature and using the ovulation test strips that a friend sent me to see if having a period means that I'm ovulating.
Friday, April 17, 2015
Meal Plan Sun 4/19 to Sat 4/25
If menstruation begins...
Day One:
Breakfast: I had such luck with pumpkin breakfast cookies, I'm going to try Cranberry Walnut Breakfast Cookies
Lunch: Wild rice pilaf with pork chops
Snack: buffalo cauliflower
Dinner: caprese salad (must use up some of my basil!) and black bean avocado brownies
Day Two:
Breakfast: toast with concord grape jelly and egg on the side
Lunch: rajma and wild rice
Snack: cheese crackers (made by cooking slices of cheese until crispy)
Dinner: Black bean soup and sweet potato flatbread and brownies
Day Three:
Breakfast: breakfast cookies
Lunch: I will attempt to imitate the amazing duck fat fries at Victoria's with sweet potato
Snack: deviled eggs
Dinner: mini pies with graham cracker crust and sugar free dessert pudding
I'm adding desserts to my dinners here because I know when I'm on my period I crave dessert a lot!
switching into follicular (may need to switch meals around based on work schedule and menstruation)
Day Four:
Breakfast: carrot cake breakfast cookies
Lunch: chicken with plum glaze
Snack: crispy garlic broccoli
Dinner: cream of carrot soup with sauteed broccoli
Day Five:
Breakfast: toast with avocado, cottage cheese on the side
Lunch: pan roasted chicken
Snack: deviled eggs
Dinner: spinach salad with artichoke hearts
(probably will have enough leftovers to cover the last couple of days. If not, will make more plans when closer)
Day Six:
Breakfast:
Lunch:
Snack:
Dinner:
Day Seven:
Breakfast:
Lunch:
Snack:
Dinner:
I was going to do a whole other meal plan for if my period doesn't start, but I'm getting really tired of the luteal foods and with the cramps last night, I have to count this as a change in cycle!
Grocery List:
wild rice
pork chops
duck
black beans
kidney beans
tomato
broccoli
sweet potato
avocado (2)
artichoke hearts can
spinach
bananas
dried cranberries
mozerella
parmesean
graham crackers
plum jam
apple sauce unsweetened
mild hot sauce
sugar free jello pudding
cocoa powder
eggs
heavy whipping cream
Day One:
Breakfast: I had such luck with pumpkin breakfast cookies, I'm going to try Cranberry Walnut Breakfast Cookies
Lunch: Wild rice pilaf with pork chops
Snack: buffalo cauliflower
Dinner: caprese salad (must use up some of my basil!) and black bean avocado brownies
Day Two:
Breakfast: toast with concord grape jelly and egg on the side
Lunch: rajma and wild rice
Snack: cheese crackers (made by cooking slices of cheese until crispy)
Dinner: Black bean soup and sweet potato flatbread and brownies
Day Three:
Breakfast: breakfast cookies
Lunch: I will attempt to imitate the amazing duck fat fries at Victoria's with sweet potato
Snack: deviled eggs
Dinner: mini pies with graham cracker crust and sugar free dessert pudding
I'm adding desserts to my dinners here because I know when I'm on my period I crave dessert a lot!
switching into follicular (may need to switch meals around based on work schedule and menstruation)
Day Four:
Breakfast: carrot cake breakfast cookies
Lunch: chicken with plum glaze
Snack: crispy garlic broccoli
Dinner: cream of carrot soup with sauteed broccoli
Day Five:
Breakfast: toast with avocado, cottage cheese on the side
Lunch: pan roasted chicken
Snack: deviled eggs
Dinner: spinach salad with artichoke hearts
(probably will have enough leftovers to cover the last couple of days. If not, will make more plans when closer)
Day Six:
Breakfast:
Lunch:
Snack:
Dinner:
Day Seven:
Breakfast:
Lunch:
Snack:
Dinner:
I was going to do a whole other meal plan for if my period doesn't start, but I'm getting really tired of the luteal foods and with the cramps last night, I have to count this as a change in cycle!
Grocery List:
wild rice
pork chops
duck
black beans
kidney beans
tomato
broccoli
sweet potato
avocado (2)
artichoke hearts can
spinach
bananas
dried cranberries
mozerella
parmesean
graham crackers
plum jam
apple sauce unsweetened
mild hot sauce
sugar free jello pudding
cocoa powder
eggs
heavy whipping cream
Holding the Infertility Grief at Bay
I've been wanting to be a mother since forever. I'm told that ever since I was a small child I cared for my baby dolls with great care and nurturing. When I was in the fifth grade I found a book my parents had on how to prepare for your baby. I loved that book. I carried it around with me, read it over and over, marveled over the pictures of babies, and learned about making my own baby food.
Yet somehow here I am 33 and without children.
If you too are struggling with infertility, here are my strategies for keeping the grief from eating me alive...
Creating things helps me feel like I'm preparing a space for my future baby.
(I don't have too much because I keep ending up giving away a lot of what I make!)
I've been thinking about getting involved in some kind of charity work involving children.
And maybe I'll look into becoming a baby sitter again.
Some people laugh at the idea that pets are preparation for kids but I think it's true. Of course it's not exactly the same. You can leave animals at home while you're at work.
But there's a lot of similarities. When I first got my dog I could barely sleep for days because I worried constantly that she would stop breathing in the middle of the night. I had to watch her breathing. And I slept in a really light state super attuned to her. Any time she moved I woke up.
I was so nervous about caring for her that I couldn't even see how cute she was. It was only in looking back at pictures that I can see how adorable she was as a puppy (she's still cute as a grown dog, of course!).
I finally understood what my dad meant when he said there was nothing more beautiful than a sleeping child (said when I asked him why our photo albums have so many pictures of me and my brother asleep). I worried over the puppy so much that it was a relief when she was asleep and I knew she was okay.
And the most important thing I learned from my pets is that love is something you give without expecting anything back. My dog doesn't owe me love. It was my choice to adopt her and my responsibility and choice to love her. She can expect that love no matter what. I think that's an important life lesson to internalize before you have an infant who doesn't yet know how to love. It only knows what it wants and it's your job to provide that and to give love regardless of whether you feel loved back.
It's been a little challenging for our dog to adjust to the cat. They get along really well (and are about the same size, actually), but there are moments of sibling jealousy. My dog is very sweet natured and gentle. The cat is cuddly and loving but also confident and a little bossy. He calls the shots and she follows but she is the older one and was an only child for a long time. I'm curious to see how the dynamic between my dog and cat might be similar or different from the dynamic that will develop between my best friend's soon-to-be-two children.
As a kid I really wanted a more realistic baby doll. I used to daydream plans of how to make dolls feel and act more real. I had a schematic for how to make a doll spit up, for example. I had one baby doll who would cry when you pressed a button in her belly. That wasn't realistic enough for me so I recorded a cassette tape of the doll crying in random intervals. On long car trips I would put on my headphones with my walkman and so the baby would cry unexpectedly. My dolls were also far too small. I wanted them bigger and heavier.
Little did I know that people just a little older than me were having the same thoughts at the same time (mid-90s). That's when reborns were first being developed. People were repainting dolls to look more real and weighting them. I didn't discover this until last year!
They're expensive dolls but I love learning new crafts so I started creating them. My third one I kept for myself. (If you'd like me to make you one, contact me through my Facebook page. Price is around $250 depending on options).
There are times when I can't deal with the doll at all. Sometimes it increases the pain. But most of the time it feels good to hold her. She is about five pounds and she wears newborn clothing. Her hair is rooted mohair one strand at a time and it feels and looks just like real hair! I snuggle with her and the comfort is tremendous.
Yet somehow here I am 33 and without children.
If you too are struggling with infertility, here are my strategies for keeping the grief from eating me alive...
One: Baby Hope Chest
I love to craft. I knit, crochet, cross-stitch, etc. I'm always up for learning new crafts and I love to try new techniques in those I know. I make baby blankets, sweaters, hats, and toys. I tuck them away in a box along with other baby items that I come across for good deals at stores.Creating things helps me feel like I'm preparing a space for my future baby.
(I don't have too much because I keep ending up giving away a lot of what I make!)
Two: Helping Out
A lot of my friends with babies aren't local, but I try to help out when I can. I love to play with their kids, hold their kids, etc. I also enjoy the kids who come through my grocery store line. I smile at them, wave at them, ask them questions if they're old enough.I've been thinking about getting involved in some kind of charity work involving children.
And maybe I'll look into becoming a baby sitter again.
Three: Pets
I have a very nurturing personality. I have a deep need to care for things. My husband and I have two pets: a dog and a cat. I've had the dog for eight years and she's traveled around the country with me. The kitty is a new addition of about a year and a half.Some people laugh at the idea that pets are preparation for kids but I think it's true. Of course it's not exactly the same. You can leave animals at home while you're at work.
But there's a lot of similarities. When I first got my dog I could barely sleep for days because I worried constantly that she would stop breathing in the middle of the night. I had to watch her breathing. And I slept in a really light state super attuned to her. Any time she moved I woke up.
I was so nervous about caring for her that I couldn't even see how cute she was. It was only in looking back at pictures that I can see how adorable she was as a puppy (she's still cute as a grown dog, of course!).
I finally understood what my dad meant when he said there was nothing more beautiful than a sleeping child (said when I asked him why our photo albums have so many pictures of me and my brother asleep). I worried over the puppy so much that it was a relief when she was asleep and I knew she was okay.
And the most important thing I learned from my pets is that love is something you give without expecting anything back. My dog doesn't owe me love. It was my choice to adopt her and my responsibility and choice to love her. She can expect that love no matter what. I think that's an important life lesson to internalize before you have an infant who doesn't yet know how to love. It only knows what it wants and it's your job to provide that and to give love regardless of whether you feel loved back.
It's been a little challenging for our dog to adjust to the cat. They get along really well (and are about the same size, actually), but there are moments of sibling jealousy. My dog is very sweet natured and gentle. The cat is cuddly and loving but also confident and a little bossy. He calls the shots and she follows but she is the older one and was an only child for a long time. I'm curious to see how the dynamic between my dog and cat might be similar or different from the dynamic that will develop between my best friend's soon-to-be-two children.
 |
| Here we are napping together |
Four: Cuddle Therapy
This one is...odd. This might be too far for a lot of you and I'm a little nervous to admit this. I love ultra-realistic baby dolls. They're called reborns and most people who aren't doll collectors only hear about them from people making fun of those of us who like them.As a kid I really wanted a more realistic baby doll. I used to daydream plans of how to make dolls feel and act more real. I had a schematic for how to make a doll spit up, for example. I had one baby doll who would cry when you pressed a button in her belly. That wasn't realistic enough for me so I recorded a cassette tape of the doll crying in random intervals. On long car trips I would put on my headphones with my walkman and so the baby would cry unexpectedly. My dolls were also far too small. I wanted them bigger and heavier.
Little did I know that people just a little older than me were having the same thoughts at the same time (mid-90s). That's when reborns were first being developed. People were repainting dolls to look more real and weighting them. I didn't discover this until last year!
They're expensive dolls but I love learning new crafts so I started creating them. My third one I kept for myself. (If you'd like me to make you one, contact me through my Facebook page. Price is around $250 depending on options).
There are times when I can't deal with the doll at all. Sometimes it increases the pain. But most of the time it feels good to hold her. She is about five pounds and she wears newborn clothing. Her hair is rooted mohair one strand at a time and it feels and looks just like real hair! I snuggle with her and the comfort is tremendous.
Thursday, April 16, 2015
Food Wed 4/15
Hope everyone had a good tax day, everything finished! We've got some issues with our taxes from the year before that we're struggling with. Hopefully that will be resolved soon.
I really do feel like my period has got to be nearly here. I was so down yesterday. And I woke up with a headache, plus I was ravenously hungry last evening. These are all signs of it.
A friend called and I started sobbing. She said, "Are you hormonal?" and I said, "I sure hope so!" Whether from pregnancy or my period, I'll take either at this point.
So I didn't do a very good job yesterday regulating my food. I was supposed to eat toast with egg in the morning and then spaghetti squash chow mein for lunch and spinach salad for dinner.
I missed breakfast completely, which set me on a bad trajectory. Then I was having company for dinner so I snacked through lunch and made the spaghetti squash chow mein for dinner.
That turned out fantastic!
I highly recommend this one. The strong sauce went great with the squash and it really tasted just like chow mein. Great for a Chinese food fix.
Would be even better with some chicken or beef satay. I tend to forget about meat when it comes to meal planning. I was a vegetarian for a long time and a lot of my family are vegetarians so it's easy for me to forget about meat. Next time I'll add some meat over the top and it will be perfect.
Then in the evening I started getting super cranky and shaking and unable to focus or to make any decisions. I was craving brownies (and considered running to the store for ingredients for black bean avocado brownies). Instead my husband whipped up some flourless banana bread muffins and I fried the rest of my cauliflower tatertot batter so we had some evening snacks.
I'm going to be working on meal planning for next week and I think I'll plan two potential menus, one based on if I get my period and the other if I don't. I won't be shopping until Sunday (it's Thursday today) so I'll have time to find out what to expect from next week.
My garden is doing pretty well. I'll have to get a picture of that for you. I transferred the seedlings outside. I didn't have enough soil to fill out the fabric garden bed I bought. I should have started smaller! But I piled soil into the corner and planted there. It has required a lot of watering, but luckily I've been saving rain water in some buckets (I will be making a proper rain barrel soon). The carrots greens are growing and getting big. The broccoli seems good too.
I really do feel like my period has got to be nearly here. I was so down yesterday. And I woke up with a headache, plus I was ravenously hungry last evening. These are all signs of it.
A friend called and I started sobbing. She said, "Are you hormonal?" and I said, "I sure hope so!" Whether from pregnancy or my period, I'll take either at this point.
So I didn't do a very good job yesterday regulating my food. I was supposed to eat toast with egg in the morning and then spaghetti squash chow mein for lunch and spinach salad for dinner.
I missed breakfast completely, which set me on a bad trajectory. Then I was having company for dinner so I snacked through lunch and made the spaghetti squash chow mein for dinner.
That turned out fantastic!
I highly recommend this one. The strong sauce went great with the squash and it really tasted just like chow mein. Great for a Chinese food fix.
Would be even better with some chicken or beef satay. I tend to forget about meat when it comes to meal planning. I was a vegetarian for a long time and a lot of my family are vegetarians so it's easy for me to forget about meat. Next time I'll add some meat over the top and it will be perfect.
Then in the evening I started getting super cranky and shaking and unable to focus or to make any decisions. I was craving brownies (and considered running to the store for ingredients for black bean avocado brownies). Instead my husband whipped up some flourless banana bread muffins and I fried the rest of my cauliflower tatertot batter so we had some evening snacks.
I'm going to be working on meal planning for next week and I think I'll plan two potential menus, one based on if I get my period and the other if I don't. I won't be shopping until Sunday (it's Thursday today) so I'll have time to find out what to expect from next week.
My garden is doing pretty well. I'll have to get a picture of that for you. I transferred the seedlings outside. I didn't have enough soil to fill out the fabric garden bed I bought. I should have started smaller! But I piled soil into the corner and planted there. It has required a lot of watering, but luckily I've been saving rain water in some buckets (I will be making a proper rain barrel soon). The carrots greens are growing and getting big. The broccoli seems good too.
Wednesday, April 15, 2015
Food Mon 4/13 and Tue 4/14
Eggs on whole wheat toast.
I have a long history of dislike for whole wheat bread but Nature's Own wasn't too bad. I was going to make my own, but I was able to get such a good deal on this that I got it instead.
With eggs and salt it was quite good.
Spaghetti squash with "cream" sauce
This was terrible! lol. The fake cream sauce may work as an alfredo substitute on real pasta but it was awful with squash. Both were very mild in taste and it was just a tasteless goopy mess. I'm not really sold on the sauce at all. I'm not sure it actually worked.
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I salvaged the squash a little bit by roasting the seeds.
Cauliflower tater tots
These were really good. The only problem is that when they said to drop them into very hot oil my oil was too hot. They cooked to black in three seconds flat before I can snatch them out!
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Bacon, Egg, Leek Risotto
This was delicious but took a long time. I guess I should have known that but I've never made risotto before. It's a very long process. Even longer with the brown rice. I couldn't find short grain brown rice so I went with long grain. It was still a tad bit crunchy when I ate it.
I probably should have done this meal on a day I didn't have work.
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Will try this again with more time for cooking. As with my previous bacon recipe, bacon makes everything delicious!
Because I forgot to get pepperoni, the pizza bites didn't happen. Will have to save that for next week. Instead I had my graham crackers with chocolate chips and nuts and raisins.
I have a long history of dislike for whole wheat bread but Nature's Own wasn't too bad. I was going to make my own, but I was able to get such a good deal on this that I got it instead.
With eggs and salt it was quite good.
Spaghetti squash with "cream" sauce
This was terrible! lol. The fake cream sauce may work as an alfredo substitute on real pasta but it was awful with squash. Both were very mild in taste and it was just a tasteless goopy mess. I'm not really sold on the sauce at all. I'm not sure it actually worked.
I salvaged the squash a little bit by roasting the seeds.
Cauliflower tater tots
These were really good. The only problem is that when they said to drop them into very hot oil my oil was too hot. They cooked to black in three seconds flat before I can snatch them out!
Bacon, Egg, Leek Risotto
This was delicious but took a long time. I guess I should have known that but I've never made risotto before. It's a very long process. Even longer with the brown rice. I couldn't find short grain brown rice so I went with long grain. It was still a tad bit crunchy when I ate it.
I probably should have done this meal on a day I didn't have work.
Will try this again with more time for cooking. As with my previous bacon recipe, bacon makes everything delicious!
Because I forgot to get pepperoni, the pizza bites didn't happen. Will have to save that for next week. Instead I had my graham crackers with chocolate chips and nuts and raisins.
Infertility Sucks
It's really challenging to stay hopeful in the face of infertility. I want to be able to hit a pause button on aging so I have the time to take care of things. Every day that passes chips away at my hope.
I turn 33 on Friday.
My husband has limitless faith. He knows that we're going to be parents. He's so sure of it. I feel like my chances are vanishing in front of me and there's nothing I can do about it.
I'm trying to do something about it. I'm trying to take charge. I'm changing everything about how I eat to make it happen. But my time keeps slipping away.
Everything takes time. Not just trying to heal myself, but even saving money towards procedures like IUI or towards adoption.
Next month marks exactly two years since we started trying to get pregnant. My best friend started trying shortly before we did and she now has a two year old and is pregnant with her second. I love her and she deserves it but the two year old in me is screaming, "Why isn't life fair?"
It feels like a judgement on me. Who I am as a person. My ability to nurture.
I know that doesn't make sense. Plenty of not very nurturing women end up with children they didn't want. Nature doesn't play favorites like that. But it still feels that way. I think my brain needs to come up with some kind of logic to the universe and it's easier to think that it's my fault and I'm a lousy person than to think that the universe is chaotic.
The pain of being childless is immense. It radiates around the deepest parts of my organs. It can sometimes be eased with little tricks like nesting and preparing. I have a baby hope chest and I knit and crochet items for my future child (but also end up usually giving them as gifts to my friends' children!). But sometimes the "biological clock" goes into a rage and tries to consume me whole.
Ads for mother's day jewelry are not helping.
And the last time this grief was triggered was at my job watching a mother and her teenager shop together. I long to go shopping with an eye-rolling teenager that I watched grow from an infant. Perhaps some day that will be me with my best-friend's daughter.
I turn 33 on Friday.
My husband has limitless faith. He knows that we're going to be parents. He's so sure of it. I feel like my chances are vanishing in front of me and there's nothing I can do about it.
I'm trying to do something about it. I'm trying to take charge. I'm changing everything about how I eat to make it happen. But my time keeps slipping away.
Everything takes time. Not just trying to heal myself, but even saving money towards procedures like IUI or towards adoption.
Next month marks exactly two years since we started trying to get pregnant. My best friend started trying shortly before we did and she now has a two year old and is pregnant with her second. I love her and she deserves it but the two year old in me is screaming, "Why isn't life fair?"
It feels like a judgement on me. Who I am as a person. My ability to nurture.
I know that doesn't make sense. Plenty of not very nurturing women end up with children they didn't want. Nature doesn't play favorites like that. But it still feels that way. I think my brain needs to come up with some kind of logic to the universe and it's easier to think that it's my fault and I'm a lousy person than to think that the universe is chaotic.
The pain of being childless is immense. It radiates around the deepest parts of my organs. It can sometimes be eased with little tricks like nesting and preparing. I have a baby hope chest and I knit and crochet items for my future child (but also end up usually giving them as gifts to my friends' children!). But sometimes the "biological clock" goes into a rage and tries to consume me whole.
Ads for mother's day jewelry are not helping.
And the last time this grief was triggered was at my job watching a mother and her teenager shop together. I long to go shopping with an eye-rolling teenager that I watched grow from an infant. Perhaps some day that will be me with my best-friend's daughter.
Tuesday, April 14, 2015
Nursery Plans
Right now what we have in the nursery room is a blank hardwood floor, lace curtains from the previous owner, and a big pile of boxes of stuff we didn't want to deal with after we moved.
I've been in nesting mode lately, though, and I've got big plans for that room.
I looked at Pinterest for inspiration images and I really liked a gray background with mostly beige and white around it. I feel like then a few touches of pink or teal really pop.
I've been in nesting mode lately, though, and I've got big plans for that room.
I looked at Pinterest for inspiration images and I really liked a gray background with mostly beige and white around it. I feel like then a few touches of pink or teal really pop.
Our House and Its Updates
In October 2014 my husband and I bought our first house. I didn't expect to be able to do that ever. We both have pretty low income (he's a school teacher and I'm a grocery store clerk + writer). But at this point, amazingly, the mortgage was lower than our apartment rent. Plus the rent went up every year and the mortgage will only go down!
So, anyway, we looked at 11 houses in three days and on the fourth day made an offer on a great deal. The house was built in 1963 and was being sold by the original owner. It has a lovely big yard with a fence for our dog and it's surprisingly big while looking cute on the outside.
The only issue for us was updating the decor. It came very 70s-style.
Before we moved in my parents and I ripped up the carpet throughout (luckily there were beautiful hardwood floors underneath). A friend and I also painted my office yellow and the master bedroom light blue. Finally, I painted over the gold-specked laminate to make the counter top in the kitchen look like marble.
Mine did not turn out quite this lovely :-/ Still, to me anything is better than gold-specked laminate.
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So I'm going to post a few "before" photos (from the real estate webpage) and I'll do individual posts about changes in each room and my inspiration photos and ideas from Pinterest, etc.
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Plans:
Kitchen:
Dining Room:
Living Room:
Bedroom:
Main Bathroom:
Nursery:
This will be a guest room until we have a baby but I am going to decorate it completely as a nursery to help me feel really ready to succeed in my infertility journey. We have my husband's childhood bed to put in there but very little else.
I plan to do a window seat with storage by putting three IKEA bookshelves around one window. I want to put a reading nook in the closet
Game Room:
So, anyway, we looked at 11 houses in three days and on the fourth day made an offer on a great deal. The house was built in 1963 and was being sold by the original owner. It has a lovely big yard with a fence for our dog and it's surprisingly big while looking cute on the outside.
The only issue for us was updating the decor. It came very 70s-style.
Before we moved in my parents and I ripped up the carpet throughout (luckily there were beautiful hardwood floors underneath). A friend and I also painted my office yellow and the master bedroom light blue. Finally, I painted over the gold-specked laminate to make the counter top in the kitchen look like marble.
So I'm going to post a few "before" photos (from the real estate webpage) and I'll do individual posts about changes in each room and my inspiration photos and ideas from Pinterest, etc.
Plans:
Kitchen:
- paint walls
- paint cabinets white or cream
Dining Room:
- cranberry area rug
- yellow curtains
- paint same as kitchen and living room
Living Room:
- Already got an area rug to help make the space cozier. Taking the carpet out made the space far too cold and big.
- new sofa for the side of the rug
- paint a sage green
- paint white or cream on fireplace wood paneling
Bedroom:
- area rug
Main Bathroom:
- replace bathtub with a big whirlpool type (my husband LOVES baths and I want to give him a luxurious tub he can actually fit in).
- add chandelier over bathtub
- add fabric shower curtain
- switch out blue sinks for white
Nursery:
This will be a guest room until we have a baby but I am going to decorate it completely as a nursery to help me feel really ready to succeed in my infertility journey. We have my husband's childhood bed to put in there but very little else.
I plan to do a window seat with storage by putting three IKEA bookshelves around one window. I want to put a reading nook in the closet
Game Room:
- Paint wood paneling cream colored
- slip cover for sofa in beige
- already switched out the checkered carpet tiles for beige ones, put in a game table, a bookcase of games, and a video game area
Monday, April 13, 2015
Food Sunday April 11th
I didn't make it to the store in time to have my planned breakfast of wheat toast and cottage cheese, so I had more of the pumpkin oatmeal breakfast cookies. Love those things!
For lunch I cooked up bulgogi, which is Korean BBQ. It is thin strips of beef marinated in soy sauce, garlic, sesame oil, green onions, and kiwi fruit (to tenderize). That is pan fried and served with rice (I used brown rice, of course!)
We used to eat this a lot. There's a restaurant near us that does it really well but it got expensive to eat out there all the time. So I learned to cook it at home. My version isn't quite as good but it's not bad.
For lunch I cooked up bulgogi, which is Korean BBQ. It is thin strips of beef marinated in soy sauce, garlic, sesame oil, green onions, and kiwi fruit (to tenderize). That is pan fried and served with rice (I used brown rice, of course!)
We used to eat this a lot. There's a restaurant near us that does it really well but it got expensive to eat out there all the time. So I learned to cook it at home. My version isn't quite as good but it's not bad.
For my snack I did the apple low carb thing: green apple slice sprinkled with cinnamon and wrapped in almond-butter-spread provolone cheese.
This is another aspect of FLO living that I need to build up to: utilizing spices for their health benefits.
I put that with my waldorf salad and a container of baby food in my lunchbox for work. The baby food snack really worked well!
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| Yes, it was a LOT of apple |
Sunday, April 12, 2015
Grocery Shop Analysis
Just got back from the grocery store, let's see how I did!
I spent $53.20, which was higher than I wanted. But on the positive side, $50 is the threshold to get another ten gas points so I'm now up to 70 cents off per gallon next time we fill up. Also, more will come back to me from Savingstar.
$50 a week for the two of us is not terrible, but this trip didn't include any meat and so I don't think it's representative. A couple of things pushed the number up higher than I wanted. For example, I bought $10 worth of Redpack cans of tomato to get $3 back at Savingstar. I don't need those this week and that was a ton of diced tomatoes, but I do use canned tomato frequently and I always like to have it on hand.
My bread deal went through as I had hoped. Nature's Own 100% Wheat Bread was on sale for buy one/get one and I had two coupons (one for each loaf) for 55 cents, which doubled. $3.59 was the regular price ($7.18 for both) and I got two for $1.39! That is 0.69 cents EACH! I am SO happy with that one!
The cereal was good too. Would have been even better if it was on sale but oh well. It was $3.19 (I got a slightly smaller box which wasn't as good a unit price but it came with a Skylander's thing and no I don't have kids, but I love that game! lol). I had a Weis e-coupon for 50 cents, which I think may have doubled and I had a manufacturer's coupons for 50 cents, which doubled. I'll also get 50 cents back on Savingstar. So the box came down to 0.69 cents too (Or if the one didn't double it was $1.19)
I got the 18 count eggs which were a little on sale for $2.49 (usually $3.09) and I got a 25 cent employee discount because they were Weis brand eggs, so $2.24 for 18 eggs.
Two spaghetti squash and a basket of apples were expensive (though I had 75 cents off the apples with a store coupon) and so were a couple of yams that I forgot to put on my grocery list. Milk didn't have any deals on it. Slices of provolone cheese were expensive too. And the cauliflower.
I also decided to try using baby food pouches for snacks as suggested on FLOliving.com. They're easy carry packs and they're full of nutritious fruits and veggies! I got $1 off 4 Gerbers Graduates Grabbers but I still spent $5.76 on them ($1.44 each)
The only other thing was a tomato. I picked up the free Jiffy corn meal mix from Savingstar last night.
So I'm waiting on about $4 from Savingstar, which will make my total $49.20 (but if that had been my total in store I wouldn't have gotten the gas points!)
And I just realized that I forgot pepperoni. that could be expensive too.
And I just realized that I forgot pepperoni. that could be expensive too.
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Now I'm cooking my bulgogi for lunch and I'm going to work on making the apple cheese snacks to pack in my lunchbox for work later (along with one of the baby food pouches and Waldorf salad)
Ramping Up To FLO Living
If you've read WomanCode, you may notice that my master meal plan list doesn't follow all the guidelines exactly.
I have started out with sorting meals by ingredient into the proper parts of the cycle. But that's just the first step. Over time I will refine and resort with other elements like type of cooking (certain cycle times are best for roasting and others for other types of cooking, for example).
Eventually I have to start whittling down the amount of cheese and dairy in the master meal plan.
It will take some months for me to build each element of FLO living into my perfect master meal plan list!
Saturday, April 11, 2015
Garden Update and Misc
Yesterday evening I created a great snack! I took a whole grain graham cracker and spread almond butter on it, then put some dark chocolate chips on and microwaved 30 seconds. I smeared the chocolate over the top and sprinkled on walnuts. Delicious and satisfying!
I tend to have super vivid dreams that are very realistic. I dream living my life: going to work, making dinner, playing with my dog, etc. Last night I dreamed that my period had started. I was so elated. Then I had to wake up.
It's a little weird to be elated about your period when you're trying to get pregnant, but for me seeing it would be a sign that I'm getting better and that I can actually ovulate. I'd like to have a few cycles that are in the realm of normal before we start trying to time sex again.
Anyway, I was going to tell you about my garden plans today!
I have two areogardens and I love, love, love, love, love them. It's the only kind of gardening I've done since I've lived in apartments since moving out of my parent's place fourteen years ago! Now I have a house and a yard and this is our first spring.
But I'm still using my areogardens!
I have one of them set up in my living room growing basil and flowers. The other is in my kitchen and I got a seed starter set for it.
This allows me to start my seeds indoors with all the benefits of the aerogarden and then transfer them outside once they are growing.
So the seeds are sprouting (well, the carrots and broccoli are. No sign of the bell peppers yet)
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I've been hardening them off by moving the bowl outside for periods of time. I think they are ready to be planted.
Rather than dig in our yard and deal with a bunch of not very fertile soil, I bought a fabric "raised garden bed." All I have to do is lay out this round fabric and it becomes like a large pot. I will add a mixture of potting soil and the compost I've been working on since we moved into the house in October.
Tonight I'm getting the soil with a Home Depot gift card (thanks to MyPoints.com!) and then tomorrow I'll work on getting it set up and plant my very first garden!
I tend to have super vivid dreams that are very realistic. I dream living my life: going to work, making dinner, playing with my dog, etc. Last night I dreamed that my period had started. I was so elated. Then I had to wake up.
It's a little weird to be elated about your period when you're trying to get pregnant, but for me seeing it would be a sign that I'm getting better and that I can actually ovulate. I'd like to have a few cycles that are in the realm of normal before we start trying to time sex again.
Anyway, I was going to tell you about my garden plans today!
I have two areogardens and I love, love, love, love, love them. It's the only kind of gardening I've done since I've lived in apartments since moving out of my parent's place fourteen years ago! Now I have a house and a yard and this is our first spring.
But I'm still using my areogardens!
I have one of them set up in my living room growing basil and flowers. The other is in my kitchen and I got a seed starter set for it.
This allows me to start my seeds indoors with all the benefits of the aerogarden and then transfer them outside once they are growing.
So the seeds are sprouting (well, the carrots and broccoli are. No sign of the bell peppers yet)
I've been hardening them off by moving the bowl outside for periods of time. I think they are ready to be planted.
Rather than dig in our yard and deal with a bunch of not very fertile soil, I bought a fabric "raised garden bed." All I have to do is lay out this round fabric and it becomes like a large pot. I will add a mixture of potting soil and the compost I've been working on since we moved into the house in October.
Tonight I'm getting the soil with a Home Depot gift card (thanks to MyPoints.com!) and then tomorrow I'll work on getting it set up and plant my very first garden!
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